Fringes are Funked Up!

What is it about fringes...they suck, and women just don't get it. Neither do Dutch footballers who all manage to look like pornstars. They just opt for disgusting lengths of horsemane laying before their eyes (in some cases covering their eyes) as if they are trying to hide something...I ask 'what are you hiding, and why is it so ugly that we cannot see it'.

My hatred for fringes dates back a long time, almost as far back as my hatred of the bow-tie. The worst form of fringe being named 'the Chloe fringe' (after an age old horrible Home and Away actress), spanning from left to right ear and the flat line of death going directly across the forehead. It almost looks like one massive monobrow, which is somehow linked to the rest of the womans hair. Fact is, NOBODY LIKES THEM! We are forced to endure the torture of fashion shows, where hortoculture (Haute Couture) is the new black, and the ridiculous is on display. Then you see some undersized pale Estonian model, walking with hair down to her nose, while wearing a salad mixture of fruit, green dress (probably signifying vegetables), fully knowing that it will never be worn outside of the catwalks in Milan. (the worlds most funked up city). You then see the camp world in awe over the artistic impression, and of course that fine touch of elongated fringework. Fact is, the pale Estonian model probably has the most beautiful ice cold blue eyes, and you are missing all of the fun, because some ridiculous fringe has covered it up.

People should be well aware that hair belongs on top of the head going backwards...or alternatively, none at all.

Note the funked up things in todays post:
Dutch footballers (and Dutch hair)
Bow ties
Milan
Hortoculture

Hopefully not so long for the next funked up post.